Sunday, February 10, 2008
The End

I almost did this way back in May of 2006, when I wrote my 5-4-3-2-1-0 series of posts leading up to my Bard graduation. In the end, I'm glad I didn't, because I was able to participate in the Second Triennial Yo La Tengo Late Summer Weblog Challenge, thus chronicling another six months of my life. After that, though, I drifted away from writing on this site, mostly because I opened my new site for School Kids SG...but all this time, I've felt something was lacking there.

The whole idea behind was that I had originally started Apartment 2-D as a subsite of the School Kids SG page, so that I'd have something to update more often than once every few months. I also wanted to try blog writing; I'd been inspired by Ben Popik in particular, though his high school friend Brendan and my college buddy Raizin also played a role in getting me started. But as time went by, I came to realize that this was the better website, and the only one I could actually get people to come to (occasionally). I started to think that School Kids SG should be a subsection of the blog, not the other way around. That was how I got the idea to start publishing the stories online, one chapter at a time. But in trying to be so focused about it, I felt I came to sacrifice some of the simplicity, charm, and above all, freedom that this format afforded me. I don't know how I missed the point of my own idea.

School Kids SG will be going on hiatus for two weeks; this is mostly so I can get the damn site code under control once and for all, and because I caught a nasty, nasty sinus infection recently and need time to recover. But here, on a site that I honestly doubt most readers have found if they didn't know about it beforehand, I will admit that the major reason I'm going on a two-week hiatus is because I want to do a thorough re-imagining of the and its purpose. It's time to add back what I left behind here at Apartment 2-D, time to open up to more than just serializing School Kids SG at a chapter a week. I want to do more personal writing again. I want to talk about some of my other creative projects. I want to experiment with the "private post" feature and see if I can find a way to turn it into a community-building feature. I want to do what Brendan does and edit live sometimes, because I'm technically doing a lot of that already! Most of all, however, I want to start having fun with the site again instead of feeling like it's just a shell for this huge, pressure-filled project that doesn't allow me the elbow room I originally intended to build into it. I intend to use these next few weeks to figure out exactly what I need to do to make into the site I wanted it to be from the start.

In any case, now that I've gotten familiar with Wordpress, there's no way I'm ever coming back to Blogger; it's far too limited. So this page will now stand as a completed work--you can read through it to get as good and complete an idea of the life I lived in the years I orbited Bard as will be available until I finish my memoirs. If I ever finish my memoirs; as I've said, I'm more interested in living my life and writing about it, and that's a project I only work on when my photographic memory has a vivid flash I feel compelled to keep a record of. It's completely at the mercy of my biorhythms.

Anyway, though, if you want to hear more about that, my senior project novel, comics I've drawn, social groups and parties I go to, what my life in the city has been like recently, my hopes and dreams, and, of course, School Kids SG, you'll have to go over to my new site from now on. I hope to see you there (and by "see you" I mean "please leave me some damn comments"), but for now, this is Jon Cann, signing off!
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Monday, November 26, 2007
I Have Done a TON of Writing Today

Man, do I love productivity. I also love feeling inspired, which I've been feeling quite a bit lately, thanks to my friends and my life. What can I say, getting settled in New York seems to have produced a positive effect on me.

Today, I worked on checking over The Gauntlet one last time in preparation to start selling a print version again, wrote another Bard memoir that occurred to me this morning and which described the same day as this old blog entry, and wrote capsule descriptions for a bunch of the School Kids SG episodes to use on the Facebook page! Please sign up as a fan if you can, by the way. It's just like joining a Facebook group, and the more of my friends' pages School Kids SG shows up on, the more people have a chance to see it.

I don't know if I've mentioned before that I'm writing Bard memoirs...I'm too lazy to scroll down and try to find out. Basically, it helps pass the time in waiting rooms and such, and I've been trying to obey my photographic memory lately whenever it wants me to write things down. Besides, I think it's an interesting story, and I think I can tell it better than I did in some places on this blog (though I'm glad to have the records here around to help jog my memory even further). It's occurred to me that a memoir of Bard would be a fantastic realtime blog project, sorting entries with dates in the past that roughly correspond to the dates of the memories themselves. But I'm already doing one huge blog project, and besides, I'm not as super-serious about writing Bard memoirs as I am about other things. In general, I prefer to concentrate on living my life now than on looking back toward the past. Besides, I'd have to change all the names and it's hard for me to censor in real-time. You'll see it when everyone else does.

I guess I can add finally updating this page to my already-long list of accomplishments today. I swear to God I'm not arrogant, but still, go me!
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Monday, October 29, 2007
Tonight I bought the entire fourth season of Queer As Folk for $6.51. So...go me!

(There's a video store closing in my neighborhood. They still have almost their entire stock and most of it is either $1.99 or $2.99. Woohoo!)
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Saturday, August 25, 2007
Did You Think I Was Kidding?

Go to this one.

(This is a pretty cryptic and self-indulgent post...there's only one person in the world who has a chance of understanding why this seemingly generic redirection is funny).
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Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Okay, So Here's the Situation

I've been sick. For two months. It's an illness that primarily causes vertigo/loss of balance, and queasiness which is arguably caused by the aforementioned other symptom, but it comes and goes in intensity and follows no real pattern that I can see. It never goes away completely, though: the best that happens is it quiets down to a dull roar I can ignore when I'm doing something engaging. Except sometimes I'll get a bad dizzy spell in the middle of the thing I'm doing that will knock the concentration right out of me. I'm terrified of this mainly because at this point it's gotta be either something environmental or something horribly wrong with my brain. I'm getting an MRI sometime soon, doctor's orders.

I said there was no pattern, but there are a few things that I think remain constant. One is that it gets worse when I'm at work. In fact, a couple other people in the office have complained of similar, mysterious illnesses, which makes me think there's something wrong in the building. One of the things my doctor suggested was a mild case of carbon monoxide poisoning (!), and it certainly seems better now that I've taken a few days off of work, so all this supports the theory that whatever's causing it is in my office. It also gets worse, or at least more noticeable, when I look at electronic screens. Sometimes. Over the last few days, I've been able to use my computer and TV with increasing ease...I'm writing this post now, for instance.

The worst part of the sickness, whatever it is, is that it makes my head cloudy all the time (that's also gotten better over the past few days). This means I don't feel sharp enough to write, like my mind's eye is squinted shut, and it also means I'm not as quick on the draw, mentally, as usual. That scares the hell out of me. If there is something poisoning me in my office, every day I spend there increases the risk that the next time my head goes cloudy, the effects might stick for good. If that were to happen...I don't know what I would do.

I think we all know what the logical solution to this problem would be, based on what I've said so far. I definitely seem to be getting better the longer I stay away from my office. But then we get to the what ifs, the doubts, and this is where I stumble.

What if I'm only feeling better because I'm sleeping more now? What if doing anything else strenuous would just bring it right back, meaning it's not so much my office as the act of working at all (which I need to do)? What if it is carbon monoxide and the effects stay with me for a while anyway, withholding proof about whether or not it's the office? What if it's my car? There could certainly be a leak, and I've been driving around with no air conditioning all summer, which is unpleasant, but I'm not in my car for all that long on any given day!

Most of all...what if, in forcing myself to go to work while I wait for some kind of proof one way or the other, I open myself up to more poisoning and eventualy permanent brain damage?

My parents poo-poo me: I am literally the boy who cried wolf, as I've been a borderline hypochondriac all my life, and I know I'm more than capable of giving myself psychosomatic nausea. But if it were just in my head, it would go away while I was doing things that I love...this hasn't been the case. These weeks of vertigo have kept me from doing practically anything except suffer through work and then collapse all weekend to make a futile attempt to recover in time to suffer through the next work week. And very little short of either a major change in my life or a major risk to my health while I wait for test results will prove one way or another what the hell is wrong with me.

I can't take much more of this simply because it makes no sense. The first time I got dizzy was back in early June, walking through KMart on a Saturday with my best friend, and I haven't been "right" since. That wasn't at work, but if it is carbon monoxide poisoning, I could have been having a delayed reaction! That's documented! But as I said, nothing really proves anything short of the blood test, and I have to go to work while I wait for it...if it turns out it is something in the building, all I'm doing is risking more poor health! And then there's the MRI, which I don't even know how I'm going to have time to do.

I dunno. I just needed to vent.
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Saturday, June 23, 2007

I've been waiting so long to say that (I mean, I could have said it a week ago at this point, but I've been sick). Yes, it's true--I finally found an apartment in New York! I signed the lease last Saturday morning, making it official, and for the next two weeks, I'll be gathering up all my things from around my parents' house after letting them sit for far too long. As of the first week in July, I will officially be a resident of Queens...and I'm on a very nice block, I might add.

For the last year, I've felt like my life has been on pause, slowly slipping farther and farther away from me. But I didn't lose myself, and I had some adventures while I wandered through a bunch of different jobs, events, and stories, getting used to post-Bard life while still hanging on to my Bard identity, a self I hope I never lose. That said, it's high time I pushed play.
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Monday, May 28, 2007
Oh, I Can't Stand Internet Explorer

Well, after having my School Kids SG site denied yet again by a blog listing service, I had to go back and make the Wordpress template compatible with IE. It took me the last 3 hours to do it...IE, as some of you may know, acts funny with CSS, while Firefox has no such problem. So the question became: how do I alter the appearance of the site in IE without altering its appearance in Firefox? Because, you know, I like the way it appears in the browser I use.

I eventually came up with a solution that isn't my favorite thing in the world to look at, but it's functional. Basically, I used a bunch of BR tags in a way that would impact the IE view but not the Firefox CSS view...and then I shrunk the vertical scroll bars to 60% so you could scroll through all the content, even though you have to do it in a little hovering frame. Like I said, not the best, but as soon as Microsoft allows IE to have full CSS functionality, this won't be a problem at all. I hardly consider it my fault.

I don't think I know anyone who still uses IE as their main browser, but if you do and the broken layout of SKSG has been putting you off, give the new solution a shot. Let me know what you think.

And a final aside--honestly, why is it so hard to get decent, free word-of-mouth on the Internet these days? All the Internet is is word-of-mouth! Basically, I think it boils down to two things: people are snooty about what they grant legitimacy to, and people who do attain success want to hoard it, making you pay for advertising to get it at all. Well, not me! If I ever get any measure of reknown, I swear that I'll either plug things people send my way or else set up some kind of a tag board so they can do it themselves (sort of like Olde English did with their Links section). I believe there's beauty in every creative endeavor, and no matter what our personal opinions may be, everyone willing to strive for success deserves a chance.
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